There is a sweet, depthless musical quality to having eye contact with a pet dog, or with any animal that is peaceful and trusting: children and intimate partners, good friends, loving family. I let the life in me flow across, mix and blend in a partially visible flowing bar that connects me to them. Take a breath. See the colors swirl and mix, ripple backward and still further back. Is it music? Is it the sound of a little creek over rocks over rocks over roots down through meadows and trees? Is it dabbles of sunlight springing light, leaf to leaf? Little wind like brushes on brass in the background, very soft. If I have such a physical place, I can go there. Take a lunch break, eat a sandwich as I let myself be enclosed in the livingness where I am. I can go.
If I am all bricked in among buildings and dank smells, I find a small quiet place where I can be safe on my own. I re-read the first paragraph to myself. Who I love that loves me is the face. I can picture them looking over at me, with the depth-lessness living alive, here, right now. A sweet peacefulness bond in the sounds and sensations stretches out to connect us. Heart to heart, body to body. Just for this moment, we can be anywhere. It can be any time of day and our smiles can be heard. We can touch. Step Eleven is poetry. It is praise. It is dance. It is sensations of tenderness and passionate love that are sent and received. I can be anywhere and be grateful for this. I have one-minute vacations every day in recovery as a fringe benefit. It is a perk of this job!
Beloved, trusted friend, I can look in your eyes and be anywhere!
Kathleen S.