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Our Father

by | Nov 15, 2022 | ACA And The Arts, ComLine

This poem contains content that some may find offensive.

I don’t want to be your hero.

I was a child.
I took a dozen lashes.
Then stood up and said, “Fuck you.”

I don’t want to be your hero.

A heavy wet blanket of pain was draped over this boy’s body.
From the outside he was pummeled from different directions.

Directions.
From which direction will the next blow come?

I don’t want to be your hero.

I didn’t know why – and I didn’t know from where – the next one was coming.
I curled up, protecting, numbing myself from the blows but not from the pain.

The pain.
I felt your contempt.
Your gift of shame.
Your disgust – the self-hate you betrothed me.

But when you beat my mother?
When you beat my mother,
revenge rose and pushed down my shame.

And in my terror, I jumped onto the trapeze, and pulled your fucking tail as often as possible.

Remember, I didn’t climb all the way up there by myself..
You put me there – and you then handed me my very own baseball bat.

You didn’t know what happened to your reputation.
I did, though.
And I talked.

I talked.
I swung above you, out of sight, I tossed the heavy, blood stained blanket over YOUR head.
And I said “Fuck you.”

I don’t want to be your hero.

You didn’t know from what direction – you were betrayed.

‘In the name of the Father’ – betrayed you.
Your contempt for the children whom you tormented – betrayed you.
Your disgust for the young boys who didn’t defend their mother as you beat her – betrayed you.
Your accusation of cowardice – betrayed you.
Your sons’ terror and crushing toxic shame – betrayed you.
Your pride at being a thick, brutish brawler from Brooklyn – betrayed you.

And I said, “Fuck you.“
I betrayed you.

I don’t want to be your hero.

Dave H

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