The board was so immaculate
Colorful and demeaning all in one
Possibility of jail, if not careful
Rules modified by people I was playing with
Strategic and aligned to have an advantage
The street signified the poverty and wealth
Boardwalk and Park Place were above most pay grades
People would offer a limb to get these properties
I gravitated towards Baltic and Mediterranean Avenues
They signified what was familiar
Relatability was always the goal
No matter how destructive the environment
Railroads whistled loudly and caught my attention
Must get all four so I can tax my opponents
Utilities were essential
Seeking both so they had to roll the dice and multiply
Passing “Go” to collect $200 each time
Some did not agree with these rules
The monies were coming from the bank
No harm no foul
Anxiously awaiting my turn
I sought to buy as many properties as I could
But also to not spend all my money doing so
The thimble and car were the top choices
Racing the car down each street
Hoping to out race my competitors
A game of negotiations and bargaining
But the goal was to annihilate everyone
To be the last one standing
It was more than a game
Often like my living situations
The people who I shared the same DNA with
Were attempting to destroy me every day
Shoving me deeper and deeper into their codependence,
Abuse and manipulation of others
Often trying to figure out how to navigate the board game of life.
Link to Recovery: I became an approval seeker. Completely abandoning and losing myself. In recovery, I am finding out that losing myself gave me an opportunity to find myself. My true self. I became frightened by angry people and personal criticism. So, I became angry, critical, and all the laundry list traits. I became my parents in one way or another. The disease of family dysfunctional and alcoholism have been in my family for decades and I am a part of the disease.
Tamara P