To my fellow travelers: this month marks the tenth anniversary of my brother’s final decision; the incomprehensible decision to end his life. I wrote this poem three years ago and I’m sharing it now to honor my brother and to offer my heart to those experiencing suicide grief.
Hello Suicide,
You have stolen my brother from me.
You have ripped a hole in my heart –
a forever hole.
You freed my brother from his pain
and transferred the pain to me –
the pain so intense
because of my love for him.
You are a black hole
in the structure of realty.
I have entered a new universe
of agonizing grief.
They call you a new normal,
but you are not normal,
yet way too normal for too many
who can never return to normal.
I do not have the lung capacity
to scream the scream
that must be screamed
to express the void.
You are a giant jigsaw puzzle
which demands solution.
But most of the pieces are missing.
My rational mind cannot process this.
Hello brother. I love you.
How I wish I could share my writing with you.
But your final decision
is what prompted my writing.
I want to scream, “HOW COULD YOU!?”
But your pain was so severe
that freedom from pain
was more precious than life.
I want to understand
your frame of mind –
but that would be
far too dangerous.
Yes, we are both casualties
of childhood domestic violence.
We didn’t receive the love or security we needed.
How I wish you could have found healing.
Decades ago, we lost our reckless brother
to his reckless choices.
Now I am left alone –
without a living sibling.
Brother. I love you.
I miss you.
I release you.
I hold you in my heart.
– Healing Heart Warrior (Tom M.)
Blindsided by Suicide
by Tom M. | Aug 15, 2023 | ACA And The Arts, ComLine
Submission Policy
We welcome blog submissions of articles and other content from ACA members.
To keep this blog a safe place, before submitting an article or other content please read our submission policy
Feedback
Posting of comments for others to see is disabled, but we encourage you to provide feedback by clicking on the “Submit Feedback” button below.
Search
Categories
Tags
ABC
abuse
acceptance
art
AWC
ballot proposals
boundaries
Conference
control
delegate
denial
father
fear
feelings
french
global
God
grief
healing
Higher Power
Inner Child
language
literature
love
Loving Parent
meeting
pain
painting
Poem
poetry
Powerless
Prayer
proposals
PTSD
racial trauma
recovery
reparenting
Service
steps
tools
traits
trauma
true self
violence
volunteer
Authors List
Abdul A.,
Adarsha A,
Adsiz Y Ç.,
Alaska Y.,
Alex B.,
Alexandra & Eira,
Alexandra E,
Alexandra P.,
Alison S.,
Anastasia S., Moscow,
Andy R.,
Angela L.,
Anna K.,
Annie D.,
Annie M.,
Anonymous,
Ashley B.,
Barbara B.,
Basma H.,
Berlinda C.,
Bill D.,
Bonnie M,
Brad H.,
Brad P.,
Carlos L.,
Celeste S.,
CG,
Charile H,
Chaz B.,
Cheryl F.,
Chris J.,
Chris M.,
Christie P.,
Christine B,
Christine L.,
Christine O.,
Cindy D.,
Clara P.,
Clara T.,
Colette B.,
Dan S.,
Dave H.,
Dave@Pancho H.,
David K.,
Dawn G.,
Deb B.,
Debra L.,
Denise R.,
DESC Subcommittee,
Diane F.,
Dianne B,
Ela M.,
Erin D.,
Esraa S.,
Fellow Traveler,
Gail W.,
Galaxy Z,
Geneviève R.,
Global Members of ACA,
Gretchen W.,
Haley R.,
Hara H.,
Harper O.,
Heather C.,
Hodaya B.,
Ifechukwu O.,
Imeri E.,
Jane F.,
Jay K.,
Jean N,
Jeannie T.,
Jennifer M.,
Jess P.,
Jill O.,
Jim R.,
Joanne B.,
Jon F.,
Josh J.,
Julia H,
Julie N.,
Justine F.,
Karie W.,
Kathleen C.,
Kathleen S.,
Katrina W.,
Kendra N.,
Kristen B,
Lara O.,
Lauren K.,
Leah W.,
Lena L,
Lexi I.,
Linda G.,
Lindsay P.,
Lisa L,
Literature Committee,
Lori N.,
Makari R.,
Margo T.,
Mari V.,
Marion M,
Martin A.,
Mary H.,
Maura T.,
Melanie B.,
Michael H,
Michell B.C.,
Micki F.,
Midge G.,
Mike S.,
Minuete C.,
Mona O.,
Monique J,
Nancy A.,
Omid J.,
Oroki R.,
Pamela M.,
Paul P.,
Rae M.,
Raya V.,
Rena Z.,
Renita E.,
Rosalie M.,
Sam P.,
Sandee B.,
Sara Z.,
Saskia S,
Sean H.,
Shanna D.,
Sivan H.,
SkyHeart,
Stephen G.,
Sue L.,
Sue V,
Sunil A,
Susanne,
Susanne R.,
Suzi B.,
Tamara P.,
Tamara P.,
Tobach N.,
Tom M.,
Tom P.,
Toni P.,
Vee B.,
Veronica A.,
Will C.,
Wjoe H,
WSO Announcements,
WSO Ballot Prep Committee,
WSO Finance Committee,
WSO Literature Committee,
WSO Volunteer Resource Committee,
Yvonne de H,
Yvonne W.