Terrified inner baby:
Born into domestic violence.
Blindsided and shattered.
He screams at full volume.
No one hears his heart.
Hypervigilant inner toddler:
Hiding in a corner.
Avoiding daddy-Monster.
Trying to be invisible.
Making himself silent.
Making himself small.
Excessively compliant.
Wounded inner child:
Bullied in school.
Nagged at home.
Never feels safe.
Trusting no one.
Constantly belittled.
Treated with contempt.
Empty and numb.
Outraged inner teenager:
Cussing out daddy-Monster
in a small quiet voice –
too smart to be heard.
Slapped around.
Slamming doors.
Tearing shirts.
Intelligent and inarticulate.
Escaping through academics and athletics.
Holding a tennis racket –
a symbol of sports,
or maybe a weapon.
Solving math problems –
relatively safe in his head.
More adult than his parents.
Vulnerable inner young adult:
Two decades of domestic violence.
Looking for answers.
Starved for attention.
Ensnared by toxic theologians
who offer fake love and friendship,
who force simplistic answers.
Deceived into religious addiction.
Divorced from his heart.
He submits to their demands.
He jumps through their hoops.
He performs his best,
but never good enough.
Mired in his second dysfunctional family,
the Holy Swamp of Judgmental Sludge.
A few years later, extreme betrayal.
Swindled by pious roommates.
Threatened with a gun.
Outcasted from those who pretended to care.
Anguished despair.
Post-traumatic heart injury.
Inner loving parent –
drawn as a forested mountain wilderness:
Rustling leaves.
Streams and lakes.
Chirping birds.
Snowcapped peaks.
Sunshine and shade.
Cool mountain breezes.
Peaceful mountain trails.
A place for healing and wholeness,
welcoming and nurturing all outcasts.
High on a mountain:
A memorial for two brothers,
two who self-destructed –
a place for healthy grief.
All are treasured by Inner Loving Parent.
Inner baby:
Comforted and nurtured.
Allowed to scream
as long as he needs.
Inner toddler:
Free from daddy-Monster.
Now seen and heard.
No need to hide.
No need to shrink.
Inner child:
Free from hostilities.
Free to speak his mind.
Encouraged to explore.
Safe with Inner Loving Parent.
Allowed to feel.
Inner teenager:
Now with a safe space to vent –
through his writing.
Allowed to tell the truth.
Allowed to express his agitated voice.
Free to write imperfectly.
Intelligent – becoming more articulate.
Inner young adult:
Allowed to be himself.
Allowed to be.
Reunited with his heart.
No need to prove anything.
Free to breathe – and scream.
Free to think for himself.
Free to explore the high peaks.
Faint in the background:
Vanishing Daddy-Monster.
The hypercritical parent
drawn as a large tyrannosaurus,
drawn with faint dashed lines.
Sharp teeth, but not as sharp as long ago.
Always present, fading into the past.
Distant memories, distant nightmares –
now mostly silenced.
Loving Higher Power:
Invisible, inaudible,
untouchable, undrawable,
undefinable, mysterious.
Always present.