I am writing today to share some of the hope I feel, inspired by attending meetings for the last 3 months. Before finding ACA, at one of the lowest points of my life, I began noticing patterns emerging in my relationships, both platonic and romantic. At the suggestion of a friend, I googled “Adult Children of Alcoholics” and found the website, and my jaw hit the floor reading the Laundry List. It was like for the first time in my life feeling seen, albeit not in the most flattering light, but a concise articulation of what I had been experiencing up to that point. Something happened inside of me and I clicked the “find a meeting” button and everything in my life changed in a way I could have never imagined.
The very first meeting I attended I listened to people sharing stories that very much resonated with my own, and I could feel the loneliness that had plagued me for my entire life ease just a bit. Knowing that there were other people experiencing the feelings I could not yet articulate, sharing them so vulnerably, it was like my heart broke wide open. When I shared my first time and everyone said “Thanks Shannon,” it released a well of tears that I was able to cry without being judged or being told to get out of my sight, or to just get over it already. That simple gesture, of being able to share and release the emotion that accompanied, helped me to trust, maybe for the first time in my life, that I was truly welcomed and accepted, in my rawest state of being. It’s still so foreign sometimes, feeling seen and heard, and expressing the tears without being ridiculed for it. It helps me build confidence and self-esteem and the gratitude I feel is immense.
I appreciate knowing that when I need support, I can ask for it. I appreciate discovering new tools every week, having listened to someone else’s story, how they endured, what helps them to keep going. The support I’ve received in these meetings has saved my life. The meetings help me feel less alone. They help me find grace in mistakes. They help me reparent myself in a loving and kind way. I never imagined I could thrive in my life, in this way. I have found my voice, found pride in the service to my fellow travelers, and found myself in the process. I am so grateful to have found this program and I am so grateful to be here to share this experience and I hope it inspires someone else to come to a meeting. It is truly an honor to witness others in their vulnerability as we help each other home, to ourselves. Together.
Shannon M
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