I was scrolling through social media dreaming about all the things I want to do because I see someone else having fun doing it.
After about 30 mins, I realized I'm starting to get judgy, of myself and others…
Criticism, jealousy, envy, self-pity
I put down the phone to check in… On me and my inner self.
I am grateful because, instead of beating myself up, I pause
And take this as an opportunity to "do the work", to participate in my own recovery (especially when no one is watching)
I go to my prayer table, light a candle, pour water, offer smoke, and ring the bells to invite All who walk with me in
the Spiritual realm to guide me in this moment.
I get quiet, offer prayers of gratitude and continue.
After 30 years (in AA)
I'm still in awe of how when I turn my life and my will
(and the rebellious person inside that tells me I've done this a million times)
Over to my Creator, the answers come, the next step comes, the next phase in the foundation of my recovery begins:
(Parts and paraphrasing from The Loving Parent Guidebook)
In our dysfunctional homes, many of us were surrounded by judgements and comparisons.
We see and hear judgments all around us in the news, on social media, in institutions, at work, and with friends and family.
(In ACA) We can learn to recognize how judgments shape our experience of the world…
We can help (our inner self) take judgments less personally. (Especially when it's us judging ourselves)
Perhaps we're judgmental because we really wish we could be doing the thing we are criticizing or comparing ourselves to
- Planning a wedding
- Converting a van into a home and traveling for a year
- Fixing up a home I just bought
- "Living my best life"
- Taking great adventures with a partner
When I'm busy comparing and judging I'm pushing myself further into isolation and denial. Further into self-pity until I read on and find the solution for today.
I am on the road of self-acceptance, love, and forgiveness through the door of understanding the reactions and responses of growing up in a shame-based and controlling home.
Distorted thinking is learned
It can be unlearned
Travel Well Beauty and know you are loved.
(The picture shows the house I grew up in).