310-534-1815 Contact Us Form

WSO Office Closed on Nov. 24, 25, Dec 26, and Jan. 2
WSO Office Closes at noon PT Dec. 23 and 30

Come Alongside

by | Apr 15, 2022 | ComLine, Voices of Recovery

I’ve told this story so many times, perplexed, always with no emotion until The Loving Parent Guidebook and the questions on page 26 and 27: What would you tell a child … ? 

I was in first grade sitting at the kitchen table after dinner struggling with single digit arithmetic and my mom, a bank teller, was at the sink doing dishes. I said, “I can’t do arithmetic,” to which she responded, without even looking up, “That’s okay, I can’t do it either.” I looked at 9 take away 3 and covered up the 3 with my finger, still saw the 9, and that’s what I put for the answer. I did the whole worksheet that way. Mom never checked, and the teacher didn’t ask why. No one came alongside. 

No one came alongside when later I heard things like: You’re making a fool of yourself! You need a bra! Your ears are dirty.

No one came alongside.

My Critical Parent stepped in. You will not leave the house until you are perfectly groomed. You must blend in. Never make a spectacle of yourself.

Then, after answering the questions in the LP Workbook, I realized the key was for someone to simply come alongside: to protect, to nurture, to support, to guide. In my prayer time that morning, for the first time, I saw my Little Self. For the first time she shared her tears with me. I told her “I’ll come alongside, I’ll pick you up off the curb, I’ll tell you that you matter, I’ll tell you that I love you.”

Later that day, I had to sit in the dentist chair. As the drilling started, I closed my eyes. I was sitting next to my Little Self on a curb. She turned to me and burrowed tight into my chest. I held her back as close as I could. I felt a tear leak out the corner of my eye. I held her until the drilling stopped. She was calm then. I know because I felt my neck and shoulders unclench. 
I’m ready to forever come alongside and be my own Loving Parent.

Submission Policy

We welcome blog submissions of articles and other content from ACA members.
To keep this blog a safe place, before submitting an article or other content please read our submission policy

Submit Content


Posting of comments for others to see is disabled, but we encourage you to provide feedback by clicking on the “Submit Feedback” button below.

Submit Feedback

Sub Categories

Translate »