I realized lately that my parents did not have friends when I was growing up.
Their relationship was adversarial at best.
No modeling of a loving relationship, or modeling about having friends.
No wonder I have had some difficulties with those!
I moved away from them and all that
when I realized my divorce would probably never finalize
with me still there to be the target for the ex-husband.
I had burned out working in high-tech, and just knew I needed space.
I moved to a small town where I knew no one.
And picked a place about 10 miles out of town. My sanctuary.
I tried to make friends for many years.
Maybe I was just too prickly for that to work. Needed more recovery.
Covid and Buy Nothing, a group on Facebook, surprisingly connected me with humanity.
First I gave things away by meeting others in town.
Then for larger things, they needed to pick them up. I needed to disclose my location.
People came out to where I live.
I had to let go of the boundary I’d held for 20 years, of no one knowing where I lived.
People were nice, exchanges were kind. There are people in the world who are kind.
More kind than my parents, brothers, or ex was. It was confusing. I have made a few friends.
Also, online meetings blossomed because of COVID.
What a wonderful thing! Especially for someone with ridiculous allergies.
I have meetings, book studies, and fellow travelers I meet with - that I met online.
It became a global thing! I meet people all over the world now! So incredible!
I am settling into this new life. My life. My life in recovery. My path!
Lena L
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