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Powerless

Powerless

What did Powerless mean to my inner child? I was powerless growing up in an incredibly controlling and narcissistic envelope, with players of various narcissistic flavors. No red flags here, all normalized. I was powerless over being assigned the role of family...
Reparenting

Reparenting

R is for reframing comments from my critical parent. She is trying to protect me in the only way she knows how. I can love her too. E is for enlightenment, illumination, and understanding. For education to my core, insight, discernment, and growing wisdom. And for...
I Said

I Said

I said I was very suicidal, in serious danger of acting it out, and therefore asked for being urgently hospitalized. I was desperate and called earnestly for help (already a teetotaler for three years, thanks to AA and DESPITE medicine). They found a place for me in a...
Busyness

Busyness

Busyness is my drug of choice and it is why I don’t ask for help. Busyness is a trustworthy way to numb out. Busyness is a trustworthy way to create the illusion of being productive, chasing the social capital of achievement, of future accomplishments bringing...
Joy in the Brushstrokes

Joy in the Brushstrokes

Last week, someone asked me what I do for a living. I braced myself and said, “I write for a consulting firm.” I sensed their stilted reaction and backpedaled. “I’m just glad I get paid to write.” They cleared their throat. “I knew someone with a 9 to 5 once.” He knew...
Unmanagable Life

Unmanagable Life

U is not part of my storyNumerous lessons I have been dealtMy words are all my ownA whole lifetime of pain I have felt.Nevertheless seeds I have sewn.A keen insight happens each dayGoing to meetings and letting goEverything becomes easier my wayAll I need to do is...
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