310-534-1815 Contact Us Form

Numb No More

by | Jan 31, 2022 | ComLine, Voices of Recovery

When I entered recovery over two years ago, the left side of my body felt numb. There was nothing medically wrong with me.  I was dissociated from my body. Slowly, I began to recapture feeling by doing dance.

Recently, I went to a dance class and found the room was empty.

 At some point I realized that the whole big dance room was for me. Only for me. I could not accept it. I was very scared. Then I remembered how  the door to my room was never closed and everyone how was passing by to the toilet observed me. I had no privacy. I never had my own space. I never felt safe in my home. I had no room.

I told that to my teacher. And then I told myself: “yes, this big dance room with many mirrors is for you. It is for you only”. After that I felt energy and I felt something different in the left part of my body. The left part became strong. It became very strong. I felt the left and the right parts equally. It was very astonishing. I kept the feeling. I am about to cry now. I prayed for the wholeness the last several months. I feel as if a surgeon puts together (sews with a thread) two parts of my body. And these two parts are becoming a body, a whole body.

I walk differently. I feel strength in the left part. When I was walking to an ACA meeting my left part was uncomfortable, with some pain even. It was moaning about neglect it had. I think my little girl is connected somehow to the left part (or maybe she lives there). I said to my left part I understood the suffering it had. If it liked, it could moan and feel unwell for any time. I recognized and validated the sufferings of the left part. 

Even my voice was very confident at the meeting tonight.

I prayed before going to bed. I feel different. I feel my left part almost as I feel the right part. I have two parts coming together. 

It’s a real miracle. I do exist, with equal parts. I can get what I want. I do have my own space, room, dance room. I can buy any food my little girl wants. 

My left part is strong.  I should follow God and listen to Him and my soul. 

Submission Policy

We welcome blog submissions of articles and other content from ACA members.
To keep this blog a safe place, before submitting an article or other content please read our submission policy

Submit Content


Posting of comments for others to see is disabled, but we encourage you to provide feedback by clicking on the “Submit Feedback” button below.

Submit Feedback

Sub Categories

Translate »